Did you see Tree of Life yet? Probably not as it grossed about $36 at the box office. I was surprised to learn that three months after its release it is still playing at the Sunshine Cinema in NYC, apparently the theater has much greater aspirations of becoming a Trader Joes or an Urban Outfitters. Not to take anything away from Sunshine Cinema, it’s one of the last remaining places in the city where you can watch a movie without constantly being reminded of how much you hate people, but here’s hoping it doesn’t program itself into oblivion. Oh, the picture of Sean Penn above? That’s about how much screen time he has in this flick, so get a good look, if you’ve just got a thing for Madonna’s ex husband, you’ll probably be disappointed with this film.

A few months ago I caught the trailer for this film online, Rainn Wilson running around with a pipe wrench hitting people in the head, sold. Ellen Page in a tight fitting spandex superhero costume? Well, kinda sold I guess, maybe.  The story seemed like a retread of the whole Kick-Ass plot, but on a lower budget with an indie Juno-esque spin to it, oh, and Kevin Bacon’s in it too. Is he still married to Kyra Sedgwick?  Is she like 70 now? She has a TV show on TNT, it’s called, The Closer, like someone who closes a door, but I like to call it The Closer, as if it was getting nearer to me.  It always makes me think it’s about a character from Glengarry Glen Ross, but it’s TNT and Kyra Sedgwick so I doubt it has anything to do with that. Singles was a good flick though, she was in that, although the only things that really stick in my mind about it are that Paul Westerberg song, Pearl Jam were in it, and so was Bridget Fonda. Matt Dillon was in it too, I used to run into him at all these weird places downtown in NYC, I’d see him drinking at Milano’s down on Houston… or I saw him another time at Bungalo 8, he was wearing one of those leather jackets with an 8 ball on the back of it… another time he was in the east village at some bar with two really unattractive chicks… weird.

Bridget Fonda though, whatever happened to her?  I just looked it up, she married Danny Elfman, the dude who scores all the Tim Burton flicks… he is officially the luckiest guy in the world, because Bridget Fonda is awesome and in some alternate reality I would have written all the best Oingo Boingo songs and stolen her heart. I just realized there is not a single Oingo Boingo song I can even come up with, were they really that awesome? Is this a huge gaping hole in my musical library? This is something that needs to be addressed at some point, because Danny Elfman has stolen Bridget Fonda away from the rest of the world and it better be justfied. I don’t want to find out that Bridget Fonda just has really shitty taste.

In much the same way that Danny Elfman has stolen Bridget Fonda away from us, in Super, Kevin Bacon’s character steals Liv Tyler away from Rainn Wilson, which makes it necessary for Rainn to become a superhero as this is the natural progression of most break-ups. You may have noticed I didn’t mention Liv Tyler until now, that’s because you were already thinking that this movie might have some merit, but now your excitement just went up like 23%, it’s an old blues trick.

For the sake of argument, let’s just call Rainn Wilson’s character Dwight, because that’s basically who he’s playing, Dwight Schrute from The Office dressed up as a superhero. Not to say that it isn’t cool to watch Dwight Schrute dressed up as a superhero hitting people with a pipe wrench, but there is some regret that this isn’t actually an episode of The Office.  I just read an interview where Rainn Wilson tries to explain that he told the director to stop him if he ever brought any of the Dwight Schrute character into the film, you know, because he’s an actor. The director must have just rolled his eyes and given up. The director by the way is James Gunn who makes some pretty fabulous fucked up films, check out this video of the Humanzee that he did and you can’t help but like him, his PG porn is pretty alright too.

Dwight becomes a superhero with a little help from God, I forgot to mention that, apparently God is pretty awesome, rips fucking skulls literally and guides people on their way. Haha, he probably never does that shit in real life but this isn’t a documentary, and it gives the film a reason to shoehorn in the eminently cool Nathan Fillion as the Holy Avenger.

Ellen Page plays a comic book store employee who helps further facilitate Dwight’s transformation into his superhero persona, the Crimson Bolt. And bonus, she decides he needs a sidekick and becomes Boltie, which is just an excuse to shoehorn Page into a tight fitting spandex outfit. I never really thought much about Ellen Page, but the outfit really does something for her, and you know what, it might actually be Lycra… what’s the difference between Lycra and Spandex, that is something that also needs to be explained, there’s already way too many words in the English language.

The movie is very violent, lots of shooting, beatings, blood, explosions, and other stuff like that. There is some nudity, sex, rape and lots of cursing, but it’s not a coming of age story by any means, no matter what your were thinking.  It’s a straight up revenge/rescue/redemption flick with a few unexpected plot twists, so when you saw Super, said it with a lisp in your head and then somehow got it confused with the movie Precious, you were way off the mark. It’s fairly well done and entertaining for the most part, I would say it’s worth a rental, and since it was in and out of theaters in a week, that’s what you’re going to settle for nonetheless. Unless you decide to buy the special Blu-Ray edition which is like $100 probably.

Men In Black 3 has been filming the past week in Brooklyn near the corner of Court and Livingston, production usually kicks up in the evening and I’m sure the residents are thrilled. So far, no sightings of Will Smith’s gargantuan trailer, just 50 or so classic cars from the 60′s and a bit of signage “Zig Zag Records” which has been placed, removed and replaced over a T-Mobile store. It was interesting to note that a few days prior to filming all the (working) phone booths on the street were removed, wonder if they’ll be back after this is over.  Aside from cars driving down the street, backing up and doing it all over again, it hasn’t been all that exciting, though the shooting schedule seems to be from about 9pm-5am, so I might be missing the good stuff. A few of the cars have stickers on them that say “Crash Stunt” and it appears they are filming a chase scene. Tonight there were three motorcycles being kept under wraps beneath blue tarp, I got a look at one as the wind picked up and blew aside the cover and it appears that there is some sort of alien element to it, I saw a few people with cameras snap some pics, so they will probably be online at some point.

At first I thought this guy on the motorcycle was just a camera operator, but if you look closely there is some molded plastic on the front of the bike that resembles a face. This would fit in with the two other bikes I got a quick glimpse of which looked alien in appearance and had more exotic modifications to the chassis.

The Zig-Zag Records signage appears to be a replica of the sign which hung above the real, recently closed Zig-Zag Records in Sheepshead Bay.  Luckily for us though, they took the sign down when they finished filming, because there are never enough T-Mobile outlets.

According to IMDB, Barry Sonnenfeld is returning to direct this installment of the cash grab.  Strangely enough, in the late 1990′s I had the opportunity to have a drink with Mr. Sonnenfeld in Montauk, Long Island. It was the dead of winter and I’d just finished whatever menial labor I was temporarily enslaved in and I needed a drink… there wasn’t much in the way of entertainment in Montauk during the winters and less than a handful of bars to pass the time, but the Montauket, (a local dive renowned for it’s sunsets) had stayed open. I walked or hitchhiked my way there, sat down at the end of the bar and treated myself to a murky glass of what was purported to be Budweiser on tap. The bar was completely empty save for the bartender and a quiet, undistinguished gentleman a few seats away. Alcohol being what it is, we eventually struck up a conversation to kill the awkward silence that wasn’t quite drowned out by the scratchy Rolling Stones songs coming from the jukebox. Eventually we got around to the whole “what do you do?” part of the spiel and he said that he made movies, I asked him if I would know anything he worked on and he said that he directed “Get Shorty”.  Being an Elmore Leonard fan at the time, I had seen the flick.. “You’re Barry Sonnenfeld?” He said that he was, and the haze of overindulgence may have clouded my memory, but I’m pretty sure he pulled out his license to prove it. Apparently he lived or was staying in East Hampton and wanted to get away, so he had come to the right place.

Back in February I won two tickets to a movie screening at the IFC Center in New York, CHUD.com was raffling off tickets to “Rubber” a movie about a tire with telekinetic powers that goes on a killing spree.

ME:  ”Hey, I won tickets to a movie screening, you doing anything tonight?”

EVERY SINGLE PERSON: “No, not really, that sounds cool, what is it?”

ME: “Uh, it’s called Rubber… it’s about a tire that kills people”

EVERY SINGLE PERSON: “Yeah, umm.. you know what, I really have a lot of laundry to do, I should probably just stay in tonight and get that done”

Alright, aside from the fact that everyone uses that bullshit laundry excuse to get out of commitments, I don’t see how you can’t instantly be intrigued by a movie about a RUBBER FUCKING TIRE WITH TELEKINETIC POWERS.

Straight to Hell is one of those movies that probably shouldn’t exist, it’s completely absurd that anyone made this movie, with this cast and somehow got away with it.  A spaghetti western? A bank heist? Joe Strummer? The Pogues? Courtney Love? Apparently this is what you do when you can’t get funding for a Nicaraguan concert tour in support of the Sandinistas.  Seriously, someone actually thought that wasn’t a great idea. The thing is, Alex Cox doesn’t give up that easily.  No concert tour? No problem.  As long as everyone’s free for a month why not just make a movie instead?

A profoundly fucked movie.  In a good way.  See, I want to go on wondering why this movie isn’t playing somewhere every Saturday at midnight because that is absolutely its niche. Then I remember my friend leaning over halfway through the film and whispering “Worst movie ever” with the sort of half grimace I usually reserve for new U2 songs. Worst movie ever? Really? I didn’t understand the response. It’s definitely loud. Definitely abrasive. There’s not much of a coherent plot. Lots of violence. The acting is all over the place. It might sound like I’m making a case against it, but this is actually what contributes to the unique charm of the film. It’s a movie you can completely enjoy if you “get it”, there is an ethereal “cool” that just sweats out of every scene, but if you “don’t get it”, well, you’ll probably think it’s 87 minutes of bullshit someone pissed away.

Radio City Music Hall seemed like kind of a strange place for Kevin Smith to screen his new movie Red State, and judging by the amount of empty seats in the venue it may have been a miscalculation on his part. Who could blame the guy though? Not really sure how touring the movie and charging $60-$140 a ticket is changing the paradigm of film distribution, but Smith looks like someone who knows how to enjoy himself and he seemed to be having a blast “lowering the bar” of Radio City, screening what is essentially a B-horror flick. I didn’t know much about the film going in, the tickets I had were acquired through a seat filling service for practically nothing, so I might not have had the same expectations as someone who dropped upwards of 70 dollars apiece for tickets, but I enjoyed the movie. Definitely better than any of Smith’s recent work… well, actually the past 10 years have been a complete shitfest, Clerks 2, Jersey Girl, Cop Out and the somewhat tolerable Zak and Miri. If you walked into this movie blind there’s no way you make it for a Kevin Smith movie, aside from a few lines of dialogue sprinkled throughout, it “looks” like nothing he’s done before, which is a good thing.  Regrettably, as he seems to finally be hitting his stride as a director, Smith has announced that his next movie, “Hit Somebody” will also be his last.

The movie itself begins with a pretty formulaic introduction to the main characters, nothing new to see here, just the extremely well worn path of a group of teenage boys looking for sex… a cross between Porky’s and Hostel, it’s just not apparent which way the die is going to fall yet.  Unfortunately for these kids, they happen to live in the same area as a group of batshit crazy religious extremists modeled entirely after the Westboro Baptist Church, with Michael Parks channeling a spot on interpretation of Fred Phelps. If you are unfamiliar with the group, google something like “dumb motherfuckers, Westboro” and you can read all about them.  Without giving up too much of the plot, teens fall for the chick who said “fuck” on the Oscars, crazy church people intervene, hilarity ensues, oh and Milton from Office Space shows up as a local cop to elevate the Super Karate Monkey Death factor. Then the movie really starts.

John Goodman is the catalyst for everything that is good with this film, the minute he appears on screen it is infinitely more watchable.  His take on the world weary ATF agent is played like a pissed off Dan Connor and he gets all the best lines in the film. As soon as he’s introduced, the story takes off in a new direction and it loses the retread feeling of the first act. There is also a “huh??” element to the story when you realize Kevin Pollak is in the film as Goodman’s ATF partner when they clearly could have gotten Todd Barry to play the same part a heck of a lot cheaper since they are almost identical in delivery and appearance these days.  Maybe Todd is hosting celebrity poker in some alternate reality.  There’s also another federal agent who looks alot like Ethan Hawke but isn’t, so maybe they used some of that cash for the Pollack “get”.

The second half of the film is a moderately tense allusion to the standoff in Waco a few years back and keeps the action coming with gun battles, hostage standoffs,  and a few twists to keep things interesting.  Most impressive is how Smith brings everything to a close however, he definitely teases the audience with a “holy shit, I can’t believe he’s going to fucking go here” moment of fleeting disappointment that is quickly relieved, and the ending is wholly satisfying. The crowd at Radio City Music Hall certainly enjoyed it, although I guess if I’d just spent $70 to see a movie I’d want to believe that it was the best thing ever too.

Immediately following the screening Kevin Smith came back out to introduce the cast and have them join him onstage for a Q &A session. Hopefully the cast isn’t following Smith for the rest of the tour unless John Goodman enjoys being asked such insightful questions as “What are your favorite iPhone games?” on a nightly basis. 95% of the questions were aimed at Smith and he was very straightforward and genuinely appreciative for the most part, but I can’t even remember a single question being directed towards Goodman, Melissa Leo or Stephen Root, so I can’t imagine they walked off stage thinking “I can’t wait till we do this again”.

Kevin Smith speaking about the original idea he had for the ending of the film: